Monogam "Ish" Commentary

This is not what you think.   We've  gone through a lot of points, most of which you probably have experienced in one form or another.  Sometimes it is enough to know others have gone through what you are going through.   I can’t fix it for you, but I can surely reassure you  that you can and will emerge on the other side perhaps a little stronger, more self-assure, and happy.   Imagine that! How do you see the current state of your relationship? Is it working for you and your SO.  Is it not working? (Is it strained, relaxed, or changing)  Or is it all of the above.   No one is perfect.   Force yourself to learn from mistakes made, accept it, and continue on your path.   This is a thinking  list or a plan of action list.   It is a deliberately planned path addressing issues that may come about. It also addresses what you want your evolving relationship to look like.  For the time being it directly reduces the i...

Wandering out and about in the world today I began watching to see if I could find individuals who appeared to be in  non-monogamous relationships.   Apparently there is not much chance of doing that while driving but it does make  you more aware of the personalities around you.   People watching is a hobby of mine as well as being an instrumental  part of my profession. First, I went to the Women’s center …No I did not see any individuals that looked as if they  could be involved in any sort of non-monogamous relationship!   How would one know what to look for anyway? It’s not like they wear sticky notes or have neon blinking signs.  Then it was off to the Oncologists office.  No…again- the only thing I found there was a lot of people waiting to see their doctors.   By the time 3:00 p.m. rolled  around I’d been at it for seven hours and hunger was setting in so it was off to to eat at a wonderful café whose mission  is to...

What is happy?  Happy is an individualized construct; things that you and I …need, want and strive for in order to obtain a sense of worth intrinsic to ourselves. If your construct is challenged or a piece of it is taken away; conflict, hurt, anger, resentment, blame and fear are often the outcomes. Let it Go….. Let It Go… Let It Go!  Yowl It Out .   Sorry.. I  couldn't  help it! Catharsis is an unprecedented outpouring, baby babbling if you will, about everything, anything and nothing.  Gadzooks does it pour out! It comes out  In rivers of spewing despair and self- hatred. When the bomb drops, catharsis is a natural reaction or psychological occurrence developed to protect us  from an emotional insult we are  not yet capable of coping with. Sorry poly peeps patience is the only word of advice  I can reiterate here. This situation is  no longer about you; as soon as you said___________________________ it morphed ...

  T hings that pop into our heads about polyamory It’s embarrassing to watch public displays (PDA) of affection, especially when it’s not that way with us It’s extremely difficult to accept changes we did not choose Things are moving too fast What if the significant other or girlfriend ignores my existence? Oh na'w, hell no that  ain't  happening! It’s on now. (this is war mode) Agreements are important to me: It means I can trust you, and can actually see the effect of it.   How do I know when to call out my mate/DH regarding behaviors that are not supportive of our relationship or my needs  or are in direct violation of already outlined agreements   My life is changing and it’s up to me to steer it in a positive fulfilling direction. I must affirm that I am important and nothing has  changed other than the structure of the existing relationship. Don’t fall victim to the slippery sl...

Deep down what is it that disturbs us about our loved ones being polyamorous.  Is it our beliefs, influenced by external societal forces or our morality as defined by a series strictly encoded rights and wrongs. Do we have broad cultural parameters, or are they more narrowly defined and everything is black and white exclusively. Could there be more.  Is polyamory a more personalized experience? Who, What, When, Where, How and Why do not apply…. At least not now that is. Now is an unbelievably harrowing and soul wracked convergence of opposing beliefs, truths and emotional states.  What really impacts our perception so much, that the intrusion of polyamory disrupts our daily lives? Yes….really it is that strong of a force.  It’s called a chronic stressor, and that my friends can set you up for some nasty problems- with one caveat. If you let it. The Mono/Poly journey is personal, everyone experiences it differently and yet there are commonalities that...