Kernals of Monagam’ish’ Thoughts

  Things that pop into our heads about polyamory

• It’s embarrassing to watch public displays (PDA) of affection, especially when it’s not that way with us
• It’s extremely difficult to accept changes we did not choose
• Things are moving too fast
• What if the significant other or girlfriend ignores my existence? Oh na'w, hell no that ain't happening! It’s on now. (this is war mode)
• Agreements are important to me: It means I can trust you, and can actually see the effect of it.
•  How do I know when to call out my mate/DH regarding behaviors that are not supportive of our relationship or my needs or are in direct violation of already outlined agreements
•  My life is changing and it’s up to me to steer it in a positive fulfilling direction. I must affirm that I am important and nothing has changed other than the structure of the existing relationship. Don’t fall victim to the slippery slope of doubt
• They love me but not enough to _____________________, enough to what?
•  My ability to separate my emotions from everyday life, bubbling close to the surface, is probably what allows me to excel professionally and allows my DH/mate to develop multiple relationships with ease
• Sometimes no matter what others will say, do or I provide for myself.. I am alone.  That is the way it is and will be.
• Poly leaves me lost, drained and seeking and I’m the ‘ish’ one
• I want to go to a lifestyle event as a couple… do we have to ask the girlfriend. 

I've been reading lately of one women’s introduction to polyamory and stories like hers make me immensely sad.  Qualities that make us human, true love, kindness, seem to be absent from person/s that should matter most!  Apparently these have been defaulted for the baser concept of ‘Me’ at a time when the emotional support, encouragement and love of her family are an absolute necessity.  *In my opinion what this ladies DH and his GF are doing is wrong on so many levels, one does not know where to begin.  Please, polyamory is not an excuse to cheat or cover up cheating! The very name itself is the first clue…’poly’-many ‘amory’-loves. Not lusts.  If you've any concern for your fellow human being you would be open, honest and upfront about your preferred relationship style, as well as sensitive to all parties in the reshaping dynamic. That magic word friends is compromise, not what you thought it would be is it.  There is no alternate universe where forced/guilted into consent induction works.  Everyone must be on the same page it polyamory is to work.

•  Poly frustrates me at times, then my OCD kicks in because I can’t grasp enough details to get all my duck in a row. What is a planner to do?Sigh! 
•  Not  poly, not mono, what I am is me.  Bound by my most consuming thought, wishes and immense /intimate needs to you. Men are men, you are me. 

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