E-Gads, It's Polyamory: What is it that drives us stark raving crazy about Poly-birds?

Deep down what is it that disturbs us about our loved ones being polyamorous.  Is it our beliefs, influenced by external societal forces or our morality as defined by a series

strictly encoded rights and wrongs. Do we have broad cultural parameters, or are they more narrowly defined and everything is black and white exclusively. Could there be

more.  Is polyamory a more personalized experience? Who, What, When, Where, How and Why do not apply…. At least not now that is.

Now is an unbelievably harrowing and soul wracked convergence of opposing beliefs, truths and emotional states.  What really impacts our perception so much, that the

intrusion of polyamory disrupts our daily lives? Yes….really it is that strong of a force.  It’s called a chronic stressor, and that my friends can set you up for some nasty problems-

with one caveat. If you let it.

The Mono/Poly journey is personal, everyone experiences it differently and yet there are commonalities that can be found.  As a monogamist; polyamory is an intrusion likened to a timed bomb waiting to detonate, we believe that we relate to one person romantically and sexually at a time.  It forces us into introspection, self-exploration and emotional maturation.   We must seek out those emotional blocks where we are frozen and locked in another time.  Its move past those blocks or abandon ship and run away. The truly sad thing is we are running away from ourselves and not our beloveds, if we choose that route.  In real world parlance “Time to grow-up”, grow a pair, put on the big girl panties, get your knickers out of a wad and S.L.O.G through the hard stuff! (Shite, Laugh, Obliterate and Grumble)

Nine most often cited Poly-bird Related Annoyances

1. Hey, they are having their cake and eating it too… What I hear is …that’s not fair.

2. They are living the ultimate fantasy. Real life is not a hot wife fantasy that’s creative thought. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence, sometimes it’s just grass

3. They broke their promise…yes they did. Really… I thought we had the same goals and ideals in common…. Who wasn't listening? 

4. How do we communicate? You don’t get to opt out and leave because we are having challenges now.

5. What do I get out of this?  Kids this is simply a restatement of Life is not fair… not everyone gets a trophy for participation

6. Trying to communicate with a poly-bird is like trying to nail jello to a wall.  The story changes to meet their current state of reality.  Can they not make a choice like

everyone else in this world and stick to it?

8. They have the ultimate excuse… I just don’t buy it.

If we must learn a new way of life, broaden our horizons and accept the changes our beloveds want us to…. Well then they should too!

9. You can see other people too.  You did not just say that! It sounds like your throwing me out with the bathwater, it’s insulting, hurtful, acrimonious and a completely

cavalier attitude to assume with someone you supposedly love.  For many this is the sharpest of the barbs that must be diffused and the deepest

I assure you, in digging to Timbuktu and back you are in a process of finding yourself, growing and coming out of this stronger and more independent.  These are annoyances sure, but they are relatively shallow.  What supports us; keeping us aloft, heads above water is moving forward in a positive, purposeful and self-sustaining direction. There is a duality with in us whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. A healthy outlook on life and emotional development takes into account our full nature.  When we refuse to accept that duality we experience guilt, fear, abandonment, esteem and self-control issues. DH, poly-bird that he is, in one of our conversations suggested that perhaps some of our fears arise from this darker flip side of our nature. 

Consider the following statement: If I allow myself to see other individuals as attractive.  I won’t be able to control the outcome/control myself.  I’ll go too far or do something to hurt myself…. Worse I might do something to drive my mate away.  Perhaps some have even questioned whether or not they are broken simply because they don’t see/feel the way they perceive others as doing. Really who gets to decide what is normal?  Do our hang-ups provide the fodder for faulty thinking; thus hindering social maturity.

It is worth noting the polyamory exposes any problems one might have as an individual or with relationships closed or open.  It really boils down to maybe, just maybe we are

ahead of the game in that we understanding ourselves well enough to know that one person is all we can truly and realistically handle. Our lives are full, nothing else is required.