More Kernals

Don’t take this the wrong way but(s)…set me off and put me on edge.  I know, something that’s going to “irk” me, is about to be said; steal a quick breath unnoticed- hold it then wait!

Why do poly people re-act with suspicion or outright disdain and derision over “my feelings? Is it because they cannot understand from a logical standpoint or are they reacting with their own emotional response and therefore need to look with-in themselves?

It is just my luck to find every relationship anarchist possible.  I’m sorry, even when one lives without rules or established boundaries; allowing others to act on their own conscious in their parings you have just made a rule. Living in one or the other realm has its own naturally occurring rules and parameters.

I don’t have to be best friends with my metas. I just have to find a way to be okay with them.  Don’t they have family and friends to support and fill their emotional vaults? They need me to do that as well.

I am loaning you out, so to speak, to someone else on an intermittent basis, the very least they could do is be civil; and conscious of their interactions with you and limit that during “our” time.

I really don’t like being around individuals who are in NRE (new relationship energy) it’s the third wheel syndrome and most likely they don’t see it! Or down play it. Yup- you are physically there but not really. You've become the side kick slash wing-man.  Your job, should you choose to take this mission is to support polybirds endeavor with the new and shiny person of interest. You get a wink, a nod and maybe an opportunity to get a word in edgewise!

If this NRE, with one person, stop the bus and let me off at the next changeover….Please! More than one potential girl friend and I will never get to have time alone with polybird to meet my needs and desires without that intrusive prevalent sound [knock, knock, knock] from the little flat box.

If patience is a virtue… I don’t want to be virtuous.

NRE can just giddy-up and go right along with my libby-doe and gone.  Not sexy people!

Is txting 24/7 okay during waking hours or are there other considerations.  As an illustration: if I was txting back and forth with polybird while he was spending the day with my metamour would it be frowned on?  Would it be frowned on to read and respond to txt during business dinners or couples dinners? 

What’s the protocol? Is there ever a time when it is not okay to txt! I’m guessing that Miss Manners would reply yes to the last question! However- I am told in today’s current culture txting is not frowned on as much as I think due to the simple fact that we are socially connected 24 hours a day. True- my question is this- do we require ourselves to react to this phenomenon as if it is an immediate emergency or can we live without it as we did 50 years ago? This is decidedly something that is individualistic between couples/pairings.

I’m not sure I believe in hierarchical pairings but I can’t shake the idea of earned sweat equity. Twenty-seven years is not the same a one year of dating.  The psychology of Life either breaks or binds us.  Those moments are fairly earned and need to be recognized and acknowledged as having value and meritorious in nature.

It is a very weird dynamic spending time with metamours. Personally I have this niggling sensation/feeling that I've been sent on a mission to ferret out all the little unspoken secrets.  Maybe, I should make it my business not to discuss such things with polybird simply as a matter of principle alone  One thing I have determined is that conversation at this point in time revolves around DH.  Is this just a stage and how long will it last?

I fear disclosing “our” health history to potential partners in the lifestyle. My thought is… that DH will be supported by his emotional bond with potential paramours.  As that bond strengthens rejection is less likely to occur. I am the one,  as a swinger, that will encounter difficulties.